The benefits of being a parent and not a teacher...

Lately I have been relishing being a parent of an 8 year old boy. Particularly mine who is so independent in many ways and yet still willing to snuggle me in the mornings. He is finally getting our jokes and discovering delight in making us coffee on Sunday mornings all by himself. Asking his usual profound questions about why the world works the way it does and how to traverse the kitchen floor in a pattern that consumes as many linoleum squares as possible.

And I am SO happy that I am his parent and not his teacher. Because today he let me in on something - he cheats at P.E. Yup - he gleefully confessed to walking around the track until a teacher came into sight and then jogging by them so he didn't get reprimanded (actually he acted all this out as usual). My first reaction was of course to be the old stick in mud and say something like "Running is good exercise and it's not OK to cheat.'' But then it hit me - he felt totally safe letting me in on his secret. We both laughed and I had a realization - THIS is the relationship I want with him. One of total safety and understanding and love and laughter. Because I was probably just like him as a third grader. Learning how to cut the corners in school and what things are important and what things are just rules. (And I hated running too).

There are other benefits to being a parent and not a teacher. Like being able to really voice my opinion when he asks me what happened at Pearl Harbor and why the U.S. dropped the atomic bombs on Japan. Or why the president went to war with Iraq when they didn't really have any weapons of mass destruction. I don't have to present the facts objectively. I can try to make a pacifist out of my boy who is growing up in an era where war has been on the front page since he learned how to read.

Kindergarten - take #2

Poor R. He is our "middle child" and second son. And this week he finally started kindergarten. It seems that R. has been ready to go to elementary school for years! He has been playing on the school playground since he was in diapers and idling in that pick-up line with me for three years. So his entrance to formal schooling was, frankly, a little anti-climactic for all of us. And here is what I learned about kindergarten the second time around:

- Rather than walking your child to the classroom and hovering nervously at the door for the first three months, your second child tells you that they would rather have their older sibling walk them in than you. You find yourself begging them to let you walk them in so that the other parents don't report you to CPS.



- Rather than sending an assortment of healthy organic tidbits for the morning snack, the second child gets an "organic toaster pastry" (read: pop-tart) because that's what his brother is having.

- And instead of saving each and every art project and mini-book, son #2's artwork is carefully edited at the recycling bin. Frankly - we've seen it all before and we know to save room in the memory box for the Monet Garden Diorama and self portrait to come later in the year.


Here's how blase I am about R's big departure from the nest. I forgot to tell R that another parent would be bringing him home on his 6th day of school! When he didn't get the mid-morning message I sheepishly left on the teacher's voicemail he gently chastised me later ("Mom - can you tell me next time if someone else is picking me up?").

I cringe to think of how many more of his life experiences will be a "redo" of something his big brother has already done. But I look forward to seeing how he takes on elementary school in his own carefree and sociable way. Go forth little R...

The last one in the pool

Well - no one can ever accuse me of being an early adopter. I think I am likely the very LAST mom on the planet to start a blog but nonetheless here I am. This week I have been overcome with the need to write it all down! To live out loud a little more. To give more consideration to the way in which I am navigating my life and parenting my children. One of whom just woke up from her nap. So more later...